Sunday Morning Summer's End

"The World is Big and I want to have a Good Look at it before it gets Dark." - John Muir

I've been up for close to an hour and a half already. It's the Sunday before Labor Day. A day associated with the end of Summer. I don't want my summer to end. I don't think I ever wanted to return from the Mountains. Since I've been back, it has been a bit over a month now, my world has become dull as if I am looking through some Old World Filter. As I edited this morning, eating a mundane breakfast, drinking a cup of coffee, each clip of my summer trip brought me closer to heartache. 

This heartache has roots burrowed deep within the quiet comfort of nature, the remarkable moments like waking up to witness two young fawns playfully prancing outside your tent door. It has grounded its' self in my fears, since everyday I wake to the scripted propaganda of the "daily news" were every other store screams of death and destruction. It underlaying message working to scare us into submission and distract from the truth. 

It is an ache that makes me wish so deeply to be back in the piece of the parks. Where my cares were directly correlated with Health and Happiness. 

Now here I am constantly being interviewed, criticized, interrogated, and questioned. Where any combination of words that escape my lips seem to be falsely observed as if those around me have set their minds to mute. I watch as they go through the motions as if they are truly interested while their glazed over eyes give away the clear reality.

I have so much I wish to see and do before the world becomes dark, and here I am again fearing I will forever be stuck a rebellious creative soul stuck in a cookie cutter society. 

I am on a path, I know not where it leads.

[Phan•Tasm]

Returning to Society

"On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow." - Friedrich Nietzsche

It has been 7 weeks full of adventure, discovery, frustration, evolution, renewal, and love. 

While away from the daily distractions the most prominently reacquiring thoughts were of the valued aspects of my life that bring me happiness. There was a reconnecting and understanding that started like a soft light deep within. After what seemed like a short amount of time it was bright and burning. The light was a beacon reminding me of the person I am, that nothing matters more then the aspects in my life that bring me happiness. 

Everyday held its' adventures in discovering new places, new ideas, and new insight to who I am. 

The energy of nature was refreshing. Now how I could feel refreshed while going days without a shower can be hard to believe. Yet sunburnt, bug bite, and sweaty I couldn't have felt more renewed. Often I've heard the saying "a breathe of fresh air" but wow this as that and so much more. It was freeing.

It wasn't always 'rainbows and butterflies', but there were plenty of both along the way. 

I wish I was better with words so I could really explain the experience, the best I can do is that coming back to society I have never felt more out of place. Georges Simenson said "The lakes and the mountains have become my landscape, my real world" and that is as real as it gets. It could be that now I notice how many distractions had taken over my life before leaving. At the same time I find it hard to relate with the basic conversational topics around me.

My focus and path have shifted in a way that I feel is right and hope leads me to where I want to be and to what I love. 

I want nothing more then to keep typing away, but I have photos to edit and art to be made. 

[Phan•Tasm] 

Where the Journey Begins

"Great minds must be ready not only to take opportunities, but to make them." - Charles Colton (1780-1832) English Clergyman

Where our Journeys begin and where our old ones end.

I have been thinking about this topic quite often in the the last year. My life has taken many shifts, and quite a few of those in the last five years. It's hard to believe at times, but when I look back I've become more intone to the changes, and signs. 

At any beginning we are both thrilled and terrified. Fears and excitement course through our veins as we grasp tight onto our hopeful wishes and bat off our hesitation. 

This site has been a place of such mixed emotions and I'm happy to feel as comfortable as I do to finally share it with everyone. It's been with much push, great help, and loads of self motivation to  create this space. 

I turn it has been a year of taking risks and opportunities, rediscovering the person I am and becoming more aware of what I want, and in turn creating opportunities for myself through inner discovery. 

As I'm typing this I've already started a new journey. I'm out of my comfort zone, traveling the country, full of fear and excitement to learn, discover, and create the way I do best. 

My next post I will let you in on more. 

Let the Journey Begin.